You can’t pretend and connect

Acting as if you’re unaffected isn’t helpful and prevents you from fully connecting with your child. I’ve had conversations with numerous parents who feel frustrated with their children. They describe being annoyed or even angry with their child’s behavior. When I inquire about their responses, some of them say things like… “I put in a lot of effort to appear calm and kind, and I wear a smile on the outside, but deep down, I’m seething.” I refer to this behavior as pretending and suppressing. Don’t misunderstand me; I don’t believe that we should share every single feeling or thought with others. That wouldn’t be appropriate. I’m simply suggesting that you allocate some time to experience the emotions instead of suppressing them and pretending they aren’t there. Become curious; confront the emotion. Attempt to genuinely sense the emotions within yourself. If you fail to make time for this, then you’re engaging in pretense. You’re not establishing a connection with yourself. You’re not establishing a connection with your child. This is because you’re attempting to feign that you’re not experiencing the emotions you truly are. By pretending, you’re not authentically representing yourself. It’s a fabricated version of you. This is the focus of our efforts within Connect Method Parenting. Send a direct message or comment below if you’re interested in learning more about it. xoxo, Andee

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Andee Martineau

Andee’s a mom of 6, reformed yeller, and the creator of Connect Method Parenting. She’s on a mission to help moms feel in control, bring the fun back into parenting, and ditch the yelling, corrections, and endless feelings of failure!

Can you imagine your kids happily listening to you, helping around the house, confiding in you, and getting along with their siblings? She’s got you covered with simple, scientifically-sound steps to do just that (that actually work. For real!)

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