PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Treating your child with compassion, love, and kindness teaches them to be compassionate, loving, and kind.
How then have we been fooled into believing that the opposite is true?
👉 That if we don’t come down harsh on our kids, they won’t learn how to be kind.
👉 That if we don’t correct them, they won’t learn how to be more caring.
👉 That if we don’t give them a time out, they won’t learn how to be more tolerant.
We respond to them with harshness and think it will produce kindness.
How are we not seeing the irony of this?
As a society, we often quote the Golden Rule.
Why does this rule not apply to children?
We have a separate set of rules for kids.
They don’t make sense.
If the kids are yelling, it’s okay for us to yell?
If the kids are upset and fighting, it’s okay for us to join the fight and get upset?
If our toddler hits his sister, it’s okay for us to hit our toddler?
We do things to kids we’d never do to an adult.
We’ve been misled.
Not on purpose.
People believed we needed to tame our uncivilized children.
If you are harsh, withdraw your attention, and take away their favorite thing you’ll train a child to behave?
If you have to go to those lengths to get a child to comply, what is the cost?
What does this type of treatment do to the inside of our child?
Warm them up or make them cold?
Make them more likely to listen or less?
Increase the trust or increase the distrust?
It won’t make them want to follow you, be kind to their sister, or help with dinner.
Come with compassion and kindness no matter what.
This doesn’t mean you give up your role as a parent or let the child do whatever he wants.
It means you are kind in every interaction, even when you have to say no, take something away, or stop them from playing with a friend.
When you set a connective limit you do it with compassion and empathy.
You do it with love and understanding.
You show them at every turn how to be kind, loving, and compassionate.
That example will show them more than any words, punishment, lecture or ultimatum ever will.
Love is always the answer.
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