Too many of us moms are in a hurry to feel better by fixing the kids.
We think the messes, the siblings fighting, and the drama at bedtime is the problem.
I used to think that too.
I thought if I could just get the kids to listen better THEN I’d feel better.
Didn’t work.
Just wore me out and made me feel hopeless.
BUT eventually, the hopelessness felt soooo terrible it became the catalyst to figure out a better way to parent.
I realized we actually need to SLOW down, RELAX, and EMBRACE what is.
Seemed impossible and scary.
Thoughts like…
If you give them an inch they’ll take a mile.
If you don’t teach them by giving them a consequence they won’t learn.
Don’t pamper them…you need to be tough.
…came to mind.
I learned to question them. What if those thoughts aren’t true???
What if I really need to….
>> Embrace the tantrums, the messes, and bad behavior?!
>> Accept things as they are right now in this moment?
>> Pay attention to myself and what I’m thinking and feeling?!
>> Understand why I’m frustrated when the kids don’t pick up, won’t eat dinner, or refuse to go to bed?
This is when things started shifting for me.
I got present to the REAL reason.
I started asking myself questions like…
>> Why am I feeling so frustrated?
>> What am I making this mean about me and about my child?
>> What am I thinking?
I stayed with the questions.
I welcomed in all the thoughts and feelings it brought up for me.
What if the goal wasn’t to feel better fast?
BUT TO FEEL NOW!
Feeling our emotions and accepting things exactly as they are, right now, opens up new possibilities.
We end up feeling much better by letting ourselves feel “negative” emotions.
By allowing ourselves to express our emotions without repercussion.
This is how we increase our emotional intelligence.
How humans become emotionally mature.
This is the way to become more emotionally regulated.
There is no way to bypass human emotions.
Whether we like it or not emotions are part of this human experience.
Learning to FEEL your emotions is one of the most transformational skills you’ll ever learn.
What are you feeling now?
STOP and just be PRESENT
OPEN up to the facts and thoughts you have about it.
STAY there long enough to feel it all the way through.
There’s nothing you need to escape, avoid, or hide away.
It’s all just there for you to understand.
It’s all just there to help you grow and transform yourself!
xoxo, Andee
