Listeningđ is a parenting superpower. đĽ
When our childâŚ
>> messes up
>> tell us about their hard day
>> complains about homework
>> is sad because of what a friend said to them
>> doesn’t want to do their chores
>> is mad because we said no
We often want to jump right in and give an immediate response, some advice, or a recommendation.
đ But what if we paused before jumping in and talking, and listened to them twice as long as we normally would before responding.
đ What if we didnât start teaching, correcting, explaining, or lecturing right away??
They donât need the lecture or antidote. â¤ď¸
I used to âlistenâ to my kidsâŚall the while coming up with my response to what they were saying inside my head.
Iâd be focused on the thing Iâd want to teach them instead of the thing they were saying.
What they need more than our intentional responses is our đ intentional presence and connection with them.
They need to feel connected to us in such a deep way that it allows them to feel safe to share what theyâre thinking about.
Space for even the thoughts we think are misinformed, judgmental, or misleading.
Space to let them be and talk.
I used to think âteachingâ them meant explaining something to them.
I would point out their missteps, their flawed judgment, and counter it with clarity so they could do better next time.
âď¸ Now I realize the best teacher is to be 100% present with them and allow them to be in the experiences in their life.
Life will teach them so many things, and those lessons will land so much deeper than anything I could say.
Listening gives us insight âď¸ into whatâs going on inside of them.
The more curious and present we are the more theyâll talk, reveal, divulge, and open up to us about whatâs going on for them.
When you pick them up from school say hi and let them know youâre excited to see them. Then see what happens.
Some days they wonât have much to say.
Some days theyâll have a lot to say.
Weâre the same way, right? Somedays weâre in the mood to talk, other days we arenât.
đ When youâre quiet and nonjudgmental youâll make room for them to feel safe. Youâre more likely to get their organic thoughts that have been sifting in their head instead of just a response to our pointed question. They are more likely to speak their mind and bring up topics that are important to them.
After all, thatâs what we want right? To see understand more about whatâs going on inside of them.
xoxo,
Andee
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