You are doing the best you can!!
So are your children.
Nobody gets it right all the time.
That’s the human experience.
We aren’t supposed to be perfect.
We are supposed to make mistakes.
You mess up.
Your kids mess up.
You can’t prevent it.
And that’s a good thing.
(Even though your brain thinks things would be better if we could.)
Through the mess-ups, you learn to level-UP the love and give UP judgment.
Because of the melt-downs, you learn to rise up with more compassion next time.
It is the way.
When your child has a big melt-down or messes up.
He’s doing his best.
If you get triggered as a result…remember you’re doing your best too.
Sure it was you he rolled his eyes at, but it had nothing to do with you.
It’s was because something in his life is not working for him.
Maybe his friend didn’t sit with him at lunch.
Maybe he scored low on his math test.
Maybe he feels bad that he hasn’t cleaned his room.
Maybe he feels overwhelmed with social anxiety.
Who knows.
And you don’t have to know why.
Just know there is a reason.
A reason that makes sense to his mind.
He’s protecting himself.
You got caught in the crossfire.
Because you were a safe place to unload the emotion.
You can’t control how your children feel.
Or how what they do.
What you can control, is how you show up when he’s acting that way.
Believe in him.
No matter what.
No matter how he is acting or what emotion he is expressing.
Communicate through your words, actions, and beliefs that you don’t believe in this behavior…you believe in his goodness, his soul.
You know he’s incredible, loving, and kind.
Nothing can convince you otherwise.
Then even if you need to set a limit because of the behavior it won’t be a problem.
You’ll be able to set a Connective Limit.
It can feel amazing for you and for him.
The way you do it will be EVERYTHING!
Who YOU ARE for your child and what YOUR PRIMARY BELIEF about them is what matters!
Let your kids bring all their messiness and humanness to you and feel safe in your unconditional love.
Let that be your legacy.
If you are interested in learning more, sign up for my FREE course to deep dive into Connective Parenting!
